I feel that I should use my annual post to “put a stake” in various things that have cheapened this most special of holidays. I call upon the spirits of the night to PLEASE do something about….
1. Young Adult Vampire Fiction. As much as I love Vampire fiction and lore, I have to agree with Neil Gaiman that it is time to stop with all the angst-ridden teens sucking blood and looking emo. ENOUGH ALREADY.
2. Young Adult Vampire Films. Sorry, folks — although I read the Twilight series of books and enjoyed them (even in spite of #1), the first film — to borrow the metaphor — sucked. Someone needs to explain to young actors that squinting a lot is not physical manifestation of emotional connection with a character. IT’S LAME. STOP IT!
3. Sequels to books whose authors are long dead. I discovered last week, to my horror, that there is a sequel to Dracula that has been written by a direct descendent of Bram Stoker and some vampire folklore expert. Just because a book is a classic in the literary cannon does not mean that all of us desire someone else to come along and make a part 2, people. I’m all right with re-visioning of the tale, but don’t suggest that you’re completing the unfinished vision of the original author. KNOCK IT OFF! (This said — will I read it? I’m not sure….)
4. Zombies. Although the vampire craze is only beginning to return to the coffin for a decade or so, Zombies are the next big horror-thing. Sorry folks — not interested. In a cruel twist of fate, I know this means I will most likely meet my end as dinner to an undead drone, but it will reinforce my dislike for the creatures. NO, THANK YOU.
Apparently, Romanian Vampire Hunters used to believe that Vampires had small, hairy tails that swelled in the heat.
VB as a Pumpkin…BWAHAHAHA!
Happy Halloween, everyone!