A major milestone in Vampboy’s development has taken place this week — with his embracing of the toddler right-of-passage known as “question everything”. Let me provide a dramatic re-visioning of these critical conversations.

Scene: Monday — Vampdaddy prepares to leave the house to attend a rally for a presidential candidate.

VB: Daddy go to work?

VD: Uh…Sort of. But not really.


VD (internal response): Well, son, your daddy is the Executive Director of a non-profit which operates under the 501(c)3 federal tax code. That code, along with OMB Circulars, prohibit non-profits utilizing federal funding for the purposes of lobbying legislators, influencing legislation or promoting candidates for election. So, my trip out of the house today is personal time, since we’re largely federally funded. However, I’m smart enough to know that this particular campaign has been recruiting me hard assuming that my role as a community organizer would translate into spreading the word about what a great president this candidate would be.

VD (Actual response): Well, because.

Scene: Another day, preparing for work.

VB: Daddy go to work?

VD: Yes.

VB: Why?

VD (internal response): Good question. Perhaps I should go work for the pharmaceutical companies. The money is great, and other people can try to save the world. You know, son, I remember when I was younger and had day-dreamed about having a job and my own desk and office. Now I have it (mind you, I have a REAL office — not even a cubical), and I’d almost give it all up to hang out at Barnes and Noble and read books until I drop dead.

VD (actual response): Because if I don’t work, we don’t have money. And we need money.


VD (internal response): Are you kidding? Have you seen the medical bills???

VD (actual response): Because, if there’s no money, I can’t buy you toys.

VB: Oh — okay!

The whole thing is very cute — but VM and I are placing bets on how long it will take to become simply annoying.


About vampdaddy

Father...Sage...Artist...The Weird One...I am many things to many people. View all posts by vampdaddy

4 responses to “Why

  • Anonymous

    Absolutely adorable. 🙂
    (And soon to be annoying, i’m sure.) 🙂
    heather a~*

  • Papa Bradstein

    How cute, so far. Love your responses too. So, have you gotten to the annoying part yet? Are you there yet? Huh? Huh? How about now? Now? What about now? Now? Huh? Huh? Are you there yet now? Huh? Why not? What about now? Now? Now?

  • Lainey-Paney

    Vampboy is officially not allowed to hang out with Baby Gage until he gets over the “why” phase. Gage doesn’t know that word yet….and I fear that you may have more patience for the “why” phase than I will have….

    So…let me know when it passes.Oh, and I think that relating everything back to buying him toys just may be the fix to the “why, why, why” scenarios!

  • Steve

    We’re in the “do you what” stage. Every single sentence begins like this. It’s annoying, but they all pass. And they all have similar daddy answers…just like your good ones.

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