Not so fast, Vampdaddy….Think that this is a done deal? All resolved? Roll end credits?
While yesterday was a day of highs, today has been a little low. Vampbaby is still doing amazingly well — his left side is functioning at a level so close to normal that someone who didn’t know about the surgery would never know that anything was wrong. However, this morning they took off the cap that covered his head — showing his beautiful curly hair, and a scar in the shape of a “Z” above his right ear, as if Voledmort hit him instead of Harry (or Zorro came by and said “hello, baby!”). It will of course heal, and I’m certain that in a few months you won’t even see it, but looking at it this morning made this entire experience real for me. It was the concrete reminder of what the last few days have been, what it has meant to us, and what it will potentially mean to our futures. And the emotions that I’ve been sitting on to get through each day came out, little by little. A good and necessary release, but not one I was prepared for at that moment.
Then there is the growing picture of returning home, and as Morrissey says on his new album, “there is no such thing as normal”. The drama isn’t finished — we still don’t know what the tumor was, and the fact that it’s been more complicated than not to identify it is not necessarily good news (nor bad — but fear of the unknown rears its ugly head). And, while there won’t be any need for future brain surgery (most likely), there is most likely something that will need to be done — Vampbaby will at least be on anti-seizure medications for a couple of months, and that may be just the beginning.
We are not out of the woods yet, and it is a dark, dense forest filled with uncertainty. So we will do our best to focus on the successes of yesterday, and take the mystery one day at a time.